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I don't understand what any of you say these days.
It seems like we were once in a single universe,
and all our stories parallels growing alongside one another.
But now the vision has fractured
and our worlds rotate on their own axis, slower and colder at every turn.
Was this inevitable, or simply sudden
(I must not have been paying attention)...
I know my world of icy deserts and snow serpents
seems to have drifted away from you all;
no longer accessible to dream ships or winged warriors of night,
to games echoing games.
Or else I've backed away from words altogether.
I know we still breathe, we still live,
but once again life has lost its crisp quality:
I drift through every day, longing to be elsewhere
and with other minds for company than those that fill my days.
Have I forgotten you all?
No, I simply no longer know you all
and I may as well be screaming words to empty winds
when I write them here or elsewhere
(the internet seems to distort or minimize the impact of all I say).
The only one I think I know is seperated from me by oceans,
and yet I would rather dwell on memories of what I thought could be
than try my game here (where worlds once one are divided)
or there (where meaning is lost to levity).
Love has given me wings,
but not to glide through life in joy
only to fly away from life altogether:
wait for me though my mind is not here.
I then apologise if it seems selfish of me,
that I would rather live alone with this strange new pain
than hold on to old joys that are fadding fast.
I'll tell you all what I've become,
when I find myself again,
until then expect nothing of me,
for I have nothing to promise


The Name in the Mind

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July 2008
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